If You Smile, The World Smiles With You

I have no idea why I capitalized all those words.

Anyway, when I was a little girl people used to just dump loads of crap life advice on my head.

Things like; If you’re not pretty the boys won’t like you, so brush your damn hair.

And; Take that hat off! How will the boys see your pretty face if you have that hat on!

And also; When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

  1. I don’t care if the boys like me (or the girls).
  2. What the hell? Is my worth seriously this caught up in how I look?
  3. I hate lemonade.

But I think the most harmful advice that was ever heaped on my wee tiny little shoulders was; “If you smile, the world will smile with you.”

No. No it won’t! In fact, most people will think you’re an idiot because you’re happy!

Here’s the other thing, some people think if you just smile hard enough and long enough that any bad feelings you’re struggling with will just magically disappear into a cloud of happy! I wish it was that easy!

Here’s the truth people.

Unhappy people do not like it when you rub your happy in their face. So sure, smile kindly and be nice to them but don’t blow rays of sunshine up their… noses. Seriously, it will make them more unhappy and then they’ll heap scorn on you. Happiness needs to have an acceptability level and your happiness needs to be under that bar to avoid not niceness.

The acceptability level changes depending on who you’re with. Another happy person will bring the acceptability up so high you both are basically drunk on happy and it won’t matter.

In short, it’s exhausting to know when to smile, how to smile and when not to. There is no one phrase that works.

So, I suggest we change this particular piece of advice to reflect a more level headed approach to the world.

“Smile appropriately and others will smile appropriately with you – also, don’t rub your rays of sunshine up an unhappy persons nose.”

And that is my word of advice for the day.



America’s Got Talent – American Idol Ruined Me

I enjoy watching the Got Talent franchise. Britain’s Got Talent, America’s Got Talent, China’s Got Talent, I watch them all. For me it’s great fun to see people doing sometimes stupid, and sometimes amazing things that I could never dream of doing. It’s also fun to celebrate each individual country’s talent.

This year while watching America’s Got Talent I’ve fallen in love with such acts as Paul Zerdin (the guy with the puppet – he’s clever, light hearted, easy to watch), Metal Mulisha Fitz Army, Piff the Magic Dragon (super fun act!), 3 Shades of Blue, Mountain Faith Band (bluegrass never sounded so good), Selected of God Choir, Oz Pearlman, Duo Vladmir and others.

The acts I haven’t enjoyed are the singers and the dancers. At first I felt bad, but as the show has progressed I realized why I have no patience for these acts anymore.

American Idol, The Voice, So You Think You Can Dance and other shows have ruined me for individual singers and dancers. We see them so much, my television is literally over saturated with singers and dancers and it’s boring now. Just boring.

On a variety show, I’m not interested in seeing things that are no longer extraordinary.

Piff the Magic Dragon? I don’t see him on TV.

Some girl belting out power ballads? I see that all the time.

It’s old. It’s boring. I’m over it.

And I feel bad! Because these singers honestly DO have talent. Just, maybe this isn’t the right venue for those kind of acts.

That said, I do think Benton Blount has an amazing talent. And some of the dancers are simply awe inspiring… but I’ve seen it before and thanks to American Idol, SYTYCD, The Voice and more I know this particular talent is everywhere.

TV has given us a glimpse of the entertainment industry. All of these singers, all of these dancers, how can you possibly be noticed when you have so much competition?

I wish them all the best… but in the meantime I will be voting for acts that are a bit less common on television (Paul Zerdin, here’s looking at you!).

Driving Me Crazy

I’m pretty sure that the world has conspired to surround me with only the worst possible drivers at all times. They come in shifts too. The morning shift and the evening shift and each set has their own unique problems.

The morning shift drivers are the ones who insist on driving 20km below the posted maximum speed, even when the roads are perfectly dry and the view clear and pristine. Are they having vehicle problems? Are they so frightened of the highway that driving 100km just is too much? Why do they do this?

And, of course, when I try to pass they have to eek up their speed just enough so that I can’t. Great! Now we’re going 95km instead of 80km! This is an improvement. Of course, as soon as oncoming traffic rejoins the scene they slow back down to 80km.

I don’t think I would mind the slow driving if it was consistent but it’s not even consistent.

Generally the morning shift aren’t reckless or dangerous, they’re just annoying. Yesterday I did run into the guy who insisted on passing going up a hill, on a solid line, but he was just as frustrated as I was about the slow inconsistent driver ahead so I can almost understand his mindset (he’s still an idiot, but understandably so).

The night shift are the killers. They’re the people swerving through lanes, not stopping at stop signs, cutting me off, trying to budge me off the road by REFUSING to give me room to merge. These are the people that make me wish I could install customizable LED lights in the my back and side windows. These lights would allow me to communicate such messages as : SMOOTH MOVE EX-LAX! – THIS ISN’T A RACE JERKFACE! – DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW YOU DRIVE LIKE THAT?

I’m fairly convinced the night and morning shit drivers communicate because I never see them both on the same day. I either run into the morning shift, or the night shift but never both on the same day.

It is somewhat considerate of them to take turns like that.

It’s a small comfort though.

I guess the whole point of this post is to say: For frick’s sake, drive defensively you raving lunatics.

Somebody is going to get killed, and it might be me. So all I ask is that you drive with a bit more care, especially when we’re cruising along in the 80s and 100s.

That is all.


But you can’t be shy – you’re friendly!

I have a confession to make. You see, despite my outgoing, assertive, friendly demeanor, I’m shy. I’m so freaking shy that I often turn into a raging idiot when confronted with strangers. People don’t always believe me. I think they’d rather believe that I’m a fun, outgoing, somewhat mentally challenged crazy cat lady instead of someone who is shy. I just don’t fit the mold of what ‘shy’ is.

When people think of ‘shy’, they think of someone who won’t speak in social situations, someone who maybe blends into the background and tries to hide. I’m not that (sometimes I am, not generally). Most days I’m the person who is so uncomfortable with new people that my brain turns to mush and all that mush comes gushing out my mouth. I can’t think straight, I can’t speak straight, but I keep going anyway and I can’t stop that either! Nervous talking is a real thing and my shyness forces it out.


Another misconception people have about shyness is that people who are quiet are shy. While that can be true, it’s not always true. Some people are just reserved, they’re just careful about what they say and to whom and until they know you, they won’t open up to you. They aren’t shy, they’re just wise (how I think of it).

I think my shyness is coupled with a small touch of social anxiety. I hate group gatherings. I hate superficial small talk. I hate being surrounded by people I don’t know and thus don’t know if I can trust. I’ve been hurt so much by people that situations like that fill me with dread.

When I was younger I’d work harder to force myself to go out and partake of these gatherings because I thought it was important and something I HAD to do but as I get older I realize no… it’s not. I’m an introverted, shy person with a touch of social anxiety. I do not NEED to gather in groups and indulge in chattering with people I barely know. That isn’t something that’s good for me.

The kind of socializing I enjoy is simple small gatherings with people I know well. It’s not that I don’t want to make new friends, but if I do I want to make them one at a time, not ten at a time.

I don’t dislike people, I’m just not comfortable with new people.  I’m friendly, but I’m shy too. And that’s okay.

Whatever kind of shy you are, I want to encourage you to love yourself and to find a way to work with your personality. It’s okay to say: No, I don’t want to go to large group gatherings. It’s okay to build slow friendships with fewer people. You don’t have to do things the way you think the world does them, you just need to do them the way that’s best for you.

And whatever kind of shy you aren’t, just be patient with us shy people. I can’t tell you how many people probably think I’m ‘slow’ because my shyness manifests in confused babbling. And hey, if you want to think that it’s actually okay, but maybe give people the benefit of the doubt. Shyness isn’t just being quiet, sometimes it can manifest in babbling and nervous chatter too. Sometimes the friendliest, most outgoing people are shy too.

Prisoners Review – Movie

A QUICK review of the movie Prisoners.

After two years I finally sat down to watch Prisoners (with Jackman and Gyllenhall – omg, is that how you spell his name? He’s Jake from now in this thread). I wanted to see this film when it came out in theater but unfortunately I have very limited time for the theater and by the time I could go the film was already out.

First off, let me just say it got right into the intrigue right away. Which is good. Slow starts can be nice too but I prefer my movies more quickly paced.

I didn’t like Jake at first but as the movie progressed I realized just what a freaking fantastic actor he is. I’ve hated him since Brokeback (I hated his character on Brokeback and it made me dislike Jake) but now that I’ve seen him in something else I’m able to recognize just how great this actor truly is.In fact, me hating him so much because of his acting just says what fantastic acting he did. So yeah, count me a new Jake fan. 🙂

I disliked Jackman’s character. I totally understood where he was coming from but where he chose to take things was just… ugly.

I also suspected that his ‘prey’ was not the predator but another victim so that colored how I viewed all those torture scenes. I knew he wasn’t going to be the kidnapper, and I knew the fallout was going to be devastating.

My ONLY complaint with this film is that it didn’t really surprise me. There was only ONE twist that I didn’t expect but ultimately I had the predator pinned.

And uh… other than that, an excellent movie that had my attention from the moment the girls disappeared. If you like intrigue and suspense check this one out!